guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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