I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
