D3 body, D1 cock
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
