THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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