dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
