Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
