i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
