Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
