Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize