You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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