Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
