Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
