I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm just crazy horny about you
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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