and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
And then he peed in my hair
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
