): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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