also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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