My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
