I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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