i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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