Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
