that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
