drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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