even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
