I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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