NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
