i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
