Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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