Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
