You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think your dad took our porno
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
