just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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