My balls are so social today.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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