Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
