you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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