What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
