found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
