Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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