you traded sex for a burrito?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize