The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
