Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
