Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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