Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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