Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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