wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Drake has all the answers
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
