I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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