Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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