so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
