Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
