I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
