She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
