I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
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You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
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A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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