if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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