I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
