I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
