I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
