GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
